Wednesday, October 15

The Luckiest Mom

As most of you probably already know, I am a mother. Before I am a blogger. Before I am the Mascara lady. Before I am the baker. Most of all, I am a mother. I have 5 kids. 
Yes.
On purpose.
My life is hilarious. Every. Single. Day. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me that I should write a book, I would be living in a beach house eating bon bons. With a housekeeper.
But my life would still be happy chaos. 
So I thought maybe I would blog. Then I realized, I already blog. I blog here. I blog my recipes. I blog! I do NOT have time for another blog! 
And then I realized something!
THIS IS MY BLOG!
Which means, if I want to tell you all why I need makeup, or baking, or quite possibly even the therapy I bake to avoid, I CAN!
Then tonight something happened that made me do just that.
A Bad Day! A REALLLY bad day. You know the kind that turns you into the MOMster? I had that today. The kind of day where nothing goes as planned. The kind of day where you have no support from a spouse (or anyone at all for that matter). The kind where you make a facebook post like this: 
"You know those days where one child insists on shouting at you, one does her chores with the least amount of effort she can muster WHILE tormenting her siblings, on plugs his nose to eat his dinner (because his older sister taught him to!) and just no one listens to you in general? Yes.... so do it! I'm really not caring that it is only 6:15. Bedtime routine starts now. Quiet reading will take place until sleep! WOO HOO for school for FIVE tomorrow! It's a good thing I love them..."
But then even after that post, you spend 3+ hours fighting your kids to bed. Yes. Fighting them to bed. Not putting them to bed. The kind where you turn into the crazy mom and your kids finally go to bed silently because suddenly they are slightly terrified of what may happen if they don't?
That was my day today.....
But then something happened at 11:30pm as I was wallowing in my self pity.
Something that made me realize that I am the luckiest mom in the world.
(This realization came after the tears. After the guilt. After the gut wrenching "I am the worst mom in the world" thoughts. After running to their rooms to kiss their little faces.)

A post it stuck to my foot. 
I picked it up and saw that it was from my children. 
The 2 children I was the hardest on tonight. 
And the post it says "to mom". 
Where did it come from? 
What was it stuck to before it was stuck to my foot? 
And then I remember. 
 There was a price of dollhouse furniture on the couch tonight when I stumbled to the couch in the dark.
I think I was mildly curious as to why there was one stray piece of L's doll furniture down here.
Not curious enough to put more thought into it than that.
Where did I put it?
I had to get up and turn on the light.
I don't really even know what I am looking for.
A cradle maybe?
Why did my kids want me to have a cradle?
That's weird.
I have to find it.
Did I take it out of this room?
I think I was still seeing red when I sat down.
It could be anywhere?
Did I throw it off of the couch? Did I carry it out of the room? What exactly happened?
There is something on the floor.
That might be it. 
What is that? Where did it come from? Oh! It opens! What is inside?
It's a treasure chest. There is a necklace inside.
 Somehow they managed to put this treasure chest on the couch, where they knew I would go to sit down and work after they were in bed.
The somehow managed to put this treasure chest on my spot tonight.
Where was I? I was more than likely upstairs yelling at their siblings to get in their beds.
Chances are this is about the time that I came downstairs and yelled them all the way to bed.
  ......
I am the luckiest mom in the world.
Because after (okay, between) the tears. And after the guilt. I realized something.
That I am NOT the worst mom in the world.
I must be doing something right, because I have five beautiful children. And they love me! They WANT me to snuggle them. They WANT me to be in their classrooms. They WANT me to just be their mama.
And that makes me so lucky. Because I LOVE more than anything in the world, snuggling them. And going to their classrooms. And being their mama.
They love me even when I am not being very loveable.
Just like I do for them.
....
I'm just going to go and get that kleenex now. And put some beans in their "bean kind" jars. But that is a story for another day.